Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
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I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
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You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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