Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
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