I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
