you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
