I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
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