Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize