Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
