Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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