we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
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