I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
He shit in the fireplace
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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