you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
