Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
