If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
