no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
