Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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