wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize