I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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