She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
there was a trapeze. enough said
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize
