o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
