New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heโs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Iโm drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Oh and itโs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ๐๐๐๐ฌ๐ณ๐
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