he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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