Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize