Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
