he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize
