You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Randomize
