was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
pray to the hookup gods
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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