That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
