Quick, to the slutcave!
if only i could text you this smell
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
