the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
