If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
