i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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