So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Randomize
