Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
