i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
