My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
