u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
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