Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
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