Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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