idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
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