I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
