she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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