I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
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She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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