yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
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