Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
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his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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