The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize