is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
