ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
