Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
