YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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