Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
