Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
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