And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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