I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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