i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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