and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
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No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
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