She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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