she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
