a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I'm passing your future prison.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Enjoy the penises
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Randomize
